Helping Myself

After three days of being avoided and several outburst of yelling, I decided that I had tried hard enough to remedy the situation.

I tried apologizing, I tried calming him down, I tried avoidance, I tried asking him how he wanted to resolve the conflict.

I admit, I got into a few screaming matches. Not good. I asked, "how can you expect me to want to live with you in a 26' trailer when you get mad and refuse to resolve the conflict for days? Where are you going to go if we are in another state? Where am I going to go?"

Anyways, I don't quite remember what set me off but he had hooked the truck up to the trailer & parked out front of the neighbors and said "take it all, take me for everything I've got."

Well I didn't want his stuff, so I started throwing his clothes, belongings, ashtray, etc. in the front lawn & screaming that he was a drunk & that I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. The landlords picked his stuff up & took it downstairs to him. They even poured out his large bottle of rum. Well he needed more, so he came out from the apartment and started walking to the liquor store.

I taunted him saying, "Do you need a ride? Do you need some money for alcohol?" I am not proud of this, but... it felt good to let out some bottled up frustration. It felt good to vent.

Long story short... I left him at the apartment and I am now living in the trailer with my dog Maya at my daughters. I feel happy most of the time. Sometimes I wish that I had someone to share my life with. However, that feeling is quickly replaced by the sense of relief that I am in charge of helping myself, and I am not willing to give that up.

At this point...my spring cleaning has just begun. My life is cleaned out, I have packed all my belongings into a 26' travel trailer, well only what fit and stored the rest away in my storage shed. The freshness of the air I breath and the new life I am starting are a welcome breeze.