First of all the unnecessary feelings involved when you go through a breakup. I feel guilty like I abandoned him, like I should have tried harder and like I should be able to be his friend. Nonsense, these feelings are not useful to anyone but him and I refuse to give them any weight. I have made a decision that when these unnecessary feelings creep into my thinking I will acknowledge them & then simply move past them by labeling them nonsense.
As for unnecessary possessions, lets start with the travel trailer I am currently living in. His back-pay from his Social security disability payed for this trailer. I verbally agreed to pay him back $1000 a month for 10 months. Since then he has called me drunk & threatening to file criminal charges against me for being a con-artist and taking advantage of a person in an incapacitated state. Nonsense, I helped him to file for social security disability, I have never said that I was taking the trailer that he paid for. I have always helped him and continue to take him to appointments, the store and the bank so long as he is sober and understands that we are only friends and doesn't get the wrong idea that we are getting back together. I have thought about giving him the trailer back but he insisted on putting it in my name. So the problem is this: If I sign the title and give it back he could potentially say that I sold it for $1 and say that I still owe him $8999. I have already paid him the first $1000 monthly installment. I offered to get a loan from the bank and pay him the $9000 I still owe him but he said no don't do that that will cost you interest. I have thought about selling the trailer or getting a loan so that I can pay him back. A loan for 48 months would be $207 a month paying approximately $2000 in interest. This would be much more affordable than $1000 a month and I could make double payments and pay it off in 2 years instead of four. Since my focus is on helping myself, this seems reasonable.
As for both necessary and unnecessary advice, where do I start. My mother says: "don't pay him a cent you are too nice and you let people take advantage of you." My daughter agrees and adds "Mom don't give the trailer back to him you paid $6500 in rent to help him out when he couldn't pay his rent." My dear sister says "I understand that you don't want the conflict and that sometimes you may have a right to something but it is not worth the hassle." My Christian friend agrees, "Just give it back and move forward. I knew the first time that I met you that you are a good person and I am really sorry that things didn't work out between you two."
My decision, get a loan and pay him all of the $9000 I owe him by writing a check & depositing it into our joint bank account with a memo of what it is for to cover myself should he pursue criminal charges. Then I will take myself off his accounts as i am the secondary. I have also found a dear older lady I've known for the past 5 years who needs a roommate in her home to help make ends meet. So I will be paying $300 a month plus food to live with her and $207 a month to keep the trailer. She is my friend's mom and she has family all over so her and I plan to travel the country visiting her children.
No comments:
Post a Comment